Oh Sun Come Out

So it's been a while since i updated this thing and i figured it was time.

If you looked at my life from a birds eye view not too much has changed. Ben and i have been working long hours as of late. It's an amazing thing to have jobs and to be able to make it financially in such an awful economy.

My thoughts on God are so incredibly all over the board, he has come through for us on so many different occasions over the past 5 months, It has to be him, there are no other explainations and yet i still find myself wondering where he is. I want something concrete, i guess that's just the kind of person i am. I like straight forward. I like real. I like things that i can see and feel. I don't want to fake it anymore but to find where my God is. does that make sense???

Lately i have been struggling to find my place. Find myself. People say i wont until i'm in my mid 30's. Go figure.

We are very lonely. It's amazing how you never know how much you need friends until you are stuck in a world with nobody under the age of 35. We miss our friends.

I cant wait until summer. this cold just hurts me. I could never live in Alaska. I need the sun. Did you know people are depressed most in the winter time? Yeah i think i'm there.

That's all. Love

Sing To Me!

So, this Christmas, Ben and I decided to take my little sister and his little brother on a little trip. Not just any trip, we went to cleveland, OH. "Ohio!?" You say. "Why would you take a boring trip to OHIO!?" Well let me tell you. We went to the best concert I, Elyse Lengel, has ever been to. The line up was as follows: Metro station (Medocre) Anberlin (Stunning) Mae (Good, not great) Motion city soundtrack (AMAZING). Anberlin was the fav. Going into this i was scared to get my hopes too high considering Anberlin has been topping my itunes play count for the last couple months and my expectations for his voice especially were sky high. I loved them. They were absolutely wonderful. This was motion city concert #2 and they blew us out of the water as usual.
In other words I strongly urge you, yes you, the reader to run to the nearest phone and get ticket master on the line. Seriously. Also I am in love with Anberlin. Yeah all 5 of them.

Call Me Red

It was my last day of work. Dont get me wrong i was sad, i had learned more from this job than any other and made close friends but on this particular night i wasn't happy. My final shift i was accompanied by two of my fellow employees, yet on this night they were feeling particularly lazy. they sat and chatted about their weekends leaving me to pick their slack. I was pissed. My body was sore and i had one last resident to help in to bed before i could sit down and finish folding laundry or do the last bit of paper work for the night. As i situated Joes blankets and adjusted his heating pad my bitterness got the best of me. I was tired and the injustice of the night made me want to walk out of this place for good. Joe, the night owl of the home smiled at me. Still a fairly new resident, made me unsure of his nightly routine. Ever since his first lunch at the home he affectionatly nicknamed me "Red". Whether the reason being my name is hard to remember or if its because my hair is what distinguished me from all the other caregivers, i accepted it. As Joe Pulled at his pillow he admits a roumor he has heard. "I heard you were getting married and leaving us." I was taken aback wondering how a resident could have possibly heard that i was quitting. I smiled at Joe asking his where he heard that. Seeming to ignore my question Joe continues to talk, i dont really remember specifics just that it was about his life, his job, his family, his younger years. I began to get impatient. Tapping my foot i tried to look interested even though my mind was a thousand different places. As he lay in his small twin bed tears trickled from his eyes and i was jerked back to reality. His words came back into focus in my mind. He was talking of his late wife. As a young bride to be his story of his wife and their love hit me hard. he looked at me suddenly and said "Love each other so much, red, dont ever be mad at each other for small things because you never know what could happen. be good to each other. I'm sad to see you go, but you're a good girl and i am proud to call you my nurse." The frail old man laying in the bed earnestly spoke these words. "Now get outta here, Red!" He said with a chuckle wiping his eyes. I caught a sob in my throatas i exited his room and walked slowly down the hall taking the time to listen to his words still ringing in my ears.

Taking the time to listen means the world to people and because they are over a certain age does not mean that changes. Guilt rides me still about the times that i didnt take the time to listen or i selfishly wanted to go home but i will never forget Joe's words to me. I will always remember Joe, he is a reason i love the elderly and i want to spend my life listening to them and letting them know they are not a burden. they are my window to God.

Squeeze From Me Every Last Drop!

It's funny that sometimes, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong and not only will it go wrong, it will happen within a weeks time.

This week in the life of the Lengels was interesting to say the least. At the beginig of this week it felt like Gods face had been turned from us and now we were forced to endure this thing called life alone. I got sick on Monday, which in turn prevents the week to progress like it normally should. The visit to the ER is unfriendly to the small pool of savings still intacted. At the beginning of this week we had no place to live as of next month. the apartment complex that we were setting our hopes on denied us. Flat out. No explination. DENIED in big red letters stamped accross our foreheads. We were stunned. The poor blue honda that has seen more than his fair share of wild life is on the decline which also screams for cash. along with fast approaching bills and purchases. Beginning this week, jobs were hard. Balance was hard. Relationships were hard.

Good thing this week is coming to a close! And with that i say CHEERS! We found an apartment as of yesterday, It's big and beautiful, better than our previous goal. Its cheap and its perfect. We say to ourselves there is no way we could have done this without God and as i would normally shy away from statements so bold, i will not hesitate to thank God for getting us through this week in one piece. Job issues are on the mend and attitudes have been changed.
We are both on the way to physical and emotional recovery from this draining week.

This Isn't Even Funny

So I have decided that grammar challenged musical artists make me want to shoot myself in the head.

For Example:

~"The most loneliest day of my life" sung badly by system of a down.
Correction- The loneliest day of my life. (period, where is gods name does the "most" come from???)

~"You like me just the way i are" sung by Timberland.
Correction- You like me just the way i am (I understand your a rapper, but seriously that just makes me sick!)

~"I know i have to be right now cause i cant get much wronger." Sung by Kanye west
Correction- Wronger?! Need i say more.

I'm Finally Growing Down

As of right now, in this moment, I'm content. Content with what i have accomplished today, content with my plans for tomorrow, even excited for what next year holds.

I'm a youth. I dont plan on pretending i know everything about life or relationships or anything for that matter. I'm so increadibly unstable. so naive. A negative statement, but really not. We got married young. Some tried to talk us out of it because we are young and undeniable stupid when it comes to how things work in life. But i've found it to be an amazing thing. I get to grow up, grow stable, grow wise with the man i love. Security is overrated. I'm flexible. there is no reason to settle down.

On another note, i believe i may be looking younger as time progresses. Maybe it's the hair or something, but lately i have been getting "What, you're married??!!" and "I thought you were like 16!" And the ever popular "do youre parents know where you are?" I have to say i have enjoyed it very much.

Scrantonicity

Michigan football sucks.

Work is lets say- miserable. I hesitate to blog because it makes me sound like a complainer but seriously, i have never met so many unfriendly, unhelpful, mean people in all my life as i have met here. I want a new job.... that is in the process of happening. ybhtubu

I get to go out to a nice resturant tonight..... i'm excited.

Hopefully go shopping too.